victoriarbtaylor

Jun. 1st, 2011 | 03:45 pm

music: the middle – jimmy eat world

hey – don’t write yourself off yet
it’s only in your head you feel left out or looked down on
just try your best, try everything you can
and don’t you worry what they tell themselves when you’re away

it just takes some time
little girl, you’re in the middle of the ride
everything, everything will be just fine
everything, everything will alright, alright

hey – you know they’re all the same
you know you’re doing better on your own, so don’t buy in
live right now, yeah just be yourself
it doesn’t matter if it’s good enough for someone else

i was so frustrated with life in middle school.
i was super shy and awkward and didn’t have many friends and i was very close to agnosticism if not atheism.
i always remember people telling me, “just be yourself!”
and it ticked me off because i didn’t understand what that meant! of course i’ll be myself, i’m stuck being me for my whole life, how do you not be yourself?
it didn’t seem like advice; i still didn’t know what it meant to “be yourself”. it just seemed like an empty saying.

but i’m starting to figure it out.

life is so much more refreshing when you don’t give a crap what other people think about you.
being yourself is not being worried about how you should act, how you should look, what kind of people you should try to make friends with, where and with whom you should be seen.
i still struggle with it, but i’ve come a long way.

i go to a week long christian family camp in the blue ridge mountains every summer and it is always so life-changing. just spending time with people who love God as much as you do is so refreshing.
two camps ago, i woke up late (as usual) and really had to hurry to get to the morning teaching on time.
but i HAD to put makeup on.
i rushed and rushed and my hair looked bad and i was freaking out and i had to go out to my parents’ car to put my makeup on and as i started i just stopped and starting crying because i realized how immobilized i was.
i felt ugly and unpresentable without makeup.
i felt like i needed it to go out in public and that i looked atrocious without it.
i was so immobilized by that need to have makeup on my face that i missed the entire teaching because i was too embarrassed to go in half an hour late when i had finally cleaned myself up.
i sat outside the hall until it was over.
and later i was too ashamed to admit i had missed it.
that’s when i really realized that i had a problem.
i prayed that God would help me with it, and i have come so far!
i feel beautiful without a speck of makeup on my face, with my hair messed up, in average-looking clothes, because God made me just the way i am and that is perfectly beautiful.
who cares what anyone else thinks anyway?

being yourself is not being ashamed or embarrassed of any part of yourself.
i still have plenty of days when i feel self-conscious, but my best times are had when i just let go and stop caring.
i’m not saying you should just look like a slob all the time, and i still try to look nice every day, but i know that i’m beautiful no matter what i have on my face or how my hair looks.

one of my biggest problems has been judging others.
i didn’t want to be seen hanging out with anyone who was considered “weird”.
i would reject friendships from beautiful people because i thought i would look bad for being friends with them.
being yourself means not caring how you look to other people.
the people society labels as unworthy or weird are many times the people who have the most to offer.
i still struggle with this, but i’ve learned to ignore that thought that used to creep up so frequently – “what if other people see me with these people? what will they think?”
who cares what they think!?
i’m gonna do me.

the only opinion that matters is God’s, and God calls us to love everyone and ourselves without shame.

being yourself means being confident that you have something to offer whether other people see it or not – and it doesn’t matter if they ever see it. it doesn’t matter if people think you’re a creep, loser, freak, lazy, weird, stupid, rude, or anything that you’re not. people can (and will) believe lies about you for your whole life, but it doesn’t matter. all that matters is what God thinks, and He sees you for who you truly are.

being yourself means embracing who God sees you to be.
being yourself means not being afraid.
being yourself means letting loose in public.
being yourself means doing whatever you want to do with your life and not caring what anyone else says about it.
being yourself means not being self-conscious.
being yourself means not being ashamed.
being yourself means not putting on an act to please others.

what does being yourself mean to you?

Tags: being yourself